Saudade is a Portuguese word that has no direct translation in English. It describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic and profound longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. I feel Saudade.
When I arrived here, there are a lot of feelings that I have experienced. Feelings so different of each other that I cannot remember what I have feeling. I did not remember if it was cold, of if the sun was shining. If it was during the morning or during the evening. Everything was black and white. Everything was blurry. I confess that I have not wept. It took me a while to realize what was happening. August 21, 2014. I was going to find my future; whatever what it will be. I was departing to a new world. Completely different and new. My life would have a new start. Fresh, again.
Arrival are always auspicious. Encouraging. I could be everything that I wanted. A restored person.
Departures can be painful. They make us feel "saudade". I still remember my parents saying goodbye to me, but I hope that in my back, they are there, as always. I hope that the time I spent away from them worthwhile.
Everything has changed. But everything stays the same. There will be always departures and arrivals.
Text based on the work of Charles Harbutt, departures and arrivals